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Off-Season, Off-Topic, and Off the Wall - (The Return) - post your favorite jokes, puns, one-liners, gifs, and memes
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
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- Has thanked: 201 times
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All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
Husband: I want you to have this bracelet. It belonged to my grandmother.
Wife: Why does it say "Do Not Resuscitate"?
Wife: Why does it say "Do Not Resuscitate"?
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
I did my first nude painting yesterday.
The neighbors were a little shocked, but the front door looks great!
The neighbors were a little shocked, but the front door looks great!
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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OU Guy
- Posts: 12144
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2021 7:22 pm
- 2
- Location: OKC
- Has thanked: 2166 times
- Been thanked: 1891 times
Every dad knows exactly what this is about. Sometimes you have to fake the surprise.
In Brent I Trust 
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
-
Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs.
Because they're Inca hoots.
Because they're Inca hoots.
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
-
Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
So far this week, I've changed a lightbulb, crossed a road, knocked twice on a door, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
My life is a joke.
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
Saw my wife yelling at the TV - "Don't go into that church you moron!"
Alas, she was watching our wedding video.
Alas, she was watching our wedding video.
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
-
Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
I always keep a picture of my wife in my wallet.
To remind me why there's no money in it.
To remind me why there's no money in it.
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
Seems like I always wake up and have to pee about 2 or 3 am.
I guess that's why they call that time the wee hours of the morning.
I guess that's why they call that time the wee hours of the morning.
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
-
Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
Text from wife: where r u
Me: kitchen
Wife: can u feed cat
M: I mean garage
W: bring in laundry
M: bathroom
W: clean toilet
M: Idaho
W: get potatoes
Me: kitchen
Wife: can u feed cat
M: I mean garage
W: bring in laundry
M: bathroom
W: clean toilet
M: Idaho
W: get potatoes
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
-
Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
When my wife turned 40 I told her "I hate to break this to you, but I'm thinking of trading you in for 2 20s!"
She said "Well, I hate to break this to you, but you're not wired for 220 anymore."
She said "Well, I hate to break this to you, but you're not wired for 220 anymore."
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
Uncle Eddie used to say "Always leave them wanting more."
Great guy. Terrible anesthesiologist.
Great guy. Terrible anesthesiologist.
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
-
Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
-
Triple Option
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2021 12:48 pm
- 2
- Has thanked: 201 times
- Been thanked: 404 times
Been having some anger issues, so my therapist suggested I write letters to all the people I was mad at, and then burn them. So I did.
But now I don't know what I'm supposed to do with all these letters.
But now I don't know what I'm supposed to do with all these letters.
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither.
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- Bilbo Baggins
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