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I wanted to save money so I built a place for my books out of boards and cement blocks. But it fell over on me. I have only my shelf to blame. Some guy tried to sell me a burial plot. But I told him that's the last thing I need. Someone drilled a hole in the fence around a nudist camp. The police a...

If I Could Have Any Superpower, It'd Definitely Be Invisibility By Superman It's kind of a nerdy question, but it always seems to come up. You'll be hanging out with a few friends and someone will ask, "If you could have any superpower you wanted, what would it be?" Most people can't answ...

Grandpa suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart. Grandpa always said "there's no place like home." Yet, when we put him in one . . . Grandpa was happily married for 32 years. Out of 67. Actually, Grandpa was a real family man. He had 3 of them. When I was litt...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And that's when the fight started My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No,&...

The Dog’s Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - ...

Things you'll never hear in SEC country 1. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex" 2. "Duct tape won't fix that." 3. "Do you have any “lite” bologna?” 4. "We don't keep firearms in this house." 5. "You can't feed that to the dog." 6. "I thought Grace...

What did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall? Dam! A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company. Boy: “Dark ...

There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church, and a synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels....

You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you lost was just a pigeon. What's E.T. short for? Because he's got those little bitty stubby legs. Old Age Still Isn't For Sissies - This is what all of you 70+ year olds, and yet-to-be kids have to look forward to!...

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular custo...

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran. My wife thinks I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want. Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going...

Here is the joke thread from the old board. Was not able to capture all the links (to articles, pics, gifs, and videos), unless the link was shown on the main page (which I just copied and pasted). Most of those are in this initial post. Getting the rest would have required opening each individual ...

That was a tough way to lose. Played pretty well for 3/4 of the game, then just went cold. Rallied at the end, missed a shot that would have tied it at the buzzer. Phooey. If this team can put 40 minutes together, they could make some noise in the tournament. Not a lack of effort, but need to be mor...

OU wins by 15.